My love of cheese is boundless, and I secretly judge people who wear mock turtlenecks

Okay, look.

I gather I'm supposed to be writing some sort of bio post, so that anyone I meet at BlogHer this weekend can learn more about me, should they choose to check out my blog, but as a rule, writing bios makes me want to set my brain aflame. Plus, I'm getting all self-conscious at the thought of  just randomly describing myself. Here is my blog! There is my header! My sidebar: Let me show you it! Lord, I feel like I'm on an episode of Cribs, with no Scarface poster to show for it. And really, in terms of showing you the real me, if I meet you, I'll probably just say "hi!" and not bust out with some Fun Fact About Me, all "my love of cheese is boundless, and I secretly judge people who wear mock turtlenecks!" Because although TRUE, that would be weird. And also not unlike something out of a Bing commercial, but that's neither here nor there.

So, um, this is what I look like. Self portrait, because my husband is presently at his fourth store in a desperate, last-minute attempt to procure a funny hat for my son's Funny Hat Day at camp tomorrow. We are those parents.

What's great about this picture is that my nose looks kind of bigger than it actually is, so it'll be kind of awesome if, when you meet me, you're pleasantly surprised about its size. "Your nose! It's much smaller than I thought it would be!" you'll want to say. And go right ahead! It'll be a fantastic icebreaker, and I will nod knowingly, and then make with the finger guns. As you do, when someone remarks favorably upon your nose.

Note, please, that this is also my Nervous Face. I point this out because I'm speaking at the BlogHer Keynote, so I will be making said face -- and probably also Clenching Things -- between now and Friday evening, after I read my post. All I need to do is think about it, and *BOOM* Nervous Face, plus Clenching. I have been doing this often, and accordingly, do not construe this face as me being aloof,  genetically bitchfaced, and/or mentally snarking on your shoes. You are, I assume, lovely, I usually smile a lot, and I think they're cute. All it is, really, is me, trying not to barf. (I should be a LOT more fun after the Keynote, I swear!)

I suppose that about wraps it up; safe travels to everyone, and I can't wait to meet everyone this weekend. Well, except her, over there. In the mock turtleneck. She's up to something, I can just tell.