Your Burning Questions

Okay, so I truly had no idea how many of you would have questions about the Jewish custom of refraining from preparing for a baby’s arrival. I guess it is weird, now that I think about it. And I will answer your burning question in just a moment. But first! You had some other questions on my last post. Namely, “Show us that ugly, floral, bow-collared shirt you wore!” and “You think you can talk about a new, free Louis Vuitton bag and not include a picture? WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU BAGTEASE YOU?”

I am, of course, paraphrasing here.

So without further ado, I bring you a close-up of…floral bowshirt! I even tied the collar bow all dainty-like!

Isn’t it lovely? Doesn’t it resemble one of the Golden Girls’ muumuus and/or a sofa slipcover circa 1974? For full effect, I’d hum a few bars of “Thank You for Being a Friend” while you look at it. I really have no excuse, except that I think my fashion sense is skewed by pregnancy.

Onto much prettier things, may I introduce you to my new bag? I’ve been on the lookout for a BAB (big-ass bag) for quite a while now…you know, a carryall into which I can throw everything. I may or may not have decided I “needed” such a bag while recently watching a pasta commercial wherein a classy Italian lady walked to the market with a huge (yet classy!) bag, into which she artfully placed fresh tomatoes and long loaves of crusty bread, all to the strains of loud (but classy!) opera music. I saw that, and was all, “Hey! A bag that can take me from work to the Italian marketplace! It will make me classy! I must get one!” Granted, I live nowhere near any such marketplace, nor have I ever purchased one of those huge loaves of bread in my life, but what if I found myself in just such a situation sans gigantic bag? What if? How awkward would THAT be? For me and the bread loaves?

Enter The Bag of Awesome.

Oh, and not only is it the huge-ass tote I’ve been wanting, but through the wizardry of the leather drawstrings on the side, it can also become…

A REGULAR-SIZED BAG!

Truly, it is more than meets the eye…and did I mention it was FREE? Oh, I did?

Ahem.

So now, to answer your other burning question: Why do Jewish people have the custom of refraining from preparing for the arrival of a baby?

Let me first clarify that we do, um, PREPARE, in the sense of like, taking prenatal vitamins, researching the whole childbirth thing, and you know, acknowledging the pregnancy. We do select/buy cribs, strollers, clothes, etc. but what I meant by “prepare” was that we don’t put together the crib, wash the clothes, or generally bring any baby stuff into the house. (Obviously, since I already have a kid, there is already a crib and stroller in my house, but we don’t bring stuff home for the new baby.)

Let me also say that we Jews are a superstitious people, and the reason for this custom (and it is a custom, not a law) is-- at its most basic level-- a “don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched” type of thing. (My grandma would also say that you don’t want to tempt Satan. No, really. She’d totally say that.) Another explanation I’ve heard is that Judaism requires us to behave modestly, which carries over to all areas of our lives. With respect to pregnancy/babies, this means not flaunting your new baby stuff, lest someone get jealous or upset and wish ill upon you (and your baby).

Whatever the reason, we do follow this custom, and I know it does seem odd, but there are workarounds. Many, many stores (at least in the New York area) are well aware of this belief, and make accommodations, like allowing you to pick out all your stuff, pay for it, and have it stored there. I have my entire layette selected for the baby, and it’s boxed up and waiting for us to call. (Once again, the custom is not to bring things into your house, so more than likely, as my due date gets closer, I’ll have my mom pick up the clothes and ask her to wash them and keep them at her house until the baby comes. Um..thanks, Mom!)

SPEAKING of babies, may I update you on mine? First of all, T is going to be two on Sunday. TWO. When did this happen?? In other baby news, I’m a centimeter dilated (TMI? Sorry.) and according to my doctor, I “could go tomorrow, given [my] history, or you know, in 3 weeks or so.” How helpful!

In any case, today I had what will probably be my last sonogram of this pregnancy, where I learned that the baby is approximately 6 pounds already.

I still have a month to go, people. Pray for me and my special lady area (Emily™).

After performing all the standard measurements and whatnot, the ultrasound technician whipped out her magical 4D transducer, and so we got a real glimpse of our baby's face in profile.

This is suddenly becoming very, very real. I can't wait to meet this kid.