Not. Cool.
Which is how we found ourselves at the children’s haircutting place Friday afternoon for his fourth (fifth? I lost count.) haircut. This haircut, unfortunately, took place with a hairstylist who was kissing her own ass so intently, it was a wonder that she could even cut Tooweets’ hair properly.
Oh, wait; that’s right…she didn’t. Rather than ramble on about her ineptitude, I’ll just give you this brief pop quiz to determine your potential as a competent baby haircutter. Yes, you!
You’re cutting a fourteen-month-old boy’s hair. What do you use to neaten up the back?
A) A Christmas ham.
B) Loud, vibrating electric hair clippers which will scare the crap out of the child, causing him to jump, leaving a CRATER-SIZED chunk of precious baby hair carved out of the back of said child’s head.
C) Scissors. Perhaps the ones you’ve been using the entire time without incident.
Care to venture a guess at which option she chose? And whose child now has a quasi-"step" haircut, not unlike the style sported by Kid N' Play?
*Weeps*
Of course we still tipped her. We’re wusses like that.
I must admit that other than that, it came out okay, right? RIGHT?
Before:
During:
"Mom? Are you kidding me with this?"
After:
Saturday brought its own share of problems, which is why I was thrilled beyond words to attend our friend's wedding on Sunday. I love weddings in general, but especially now that our nights out are few and far between, I relish the opportunity to put on a pretty dress and spend more than 30 seconds on my makeup. (Seriously, my harried mornings compelled me to get this down to a science.) Oh, and to carry a teensy, impractical bag that’s only big enough for one lip gloss and a place card, but NOTHING MORE.
The wedding was lovely, as was this:
This, in case you were wondering, is an enormous ice sculpture which dispenses Cosmos through a little spigot in the front. Suck it, pimp cup! Hit the road, pimp and ho shot glasses! Mama found a new favorite beverage dispenser! If only I still liked Cosmos...and ice didn't, um, MELT.
Other than that, all is well, and I'm anxiously counting down the minutes until we leave for vacation later this week. We'll be at the annual Metalia family pilgrimage to the lake house in Pennsylvania with my parents and brothers, where we will eat, drink, and almost certainly be merry. How could we not, with the karaoke bar so close to the house? I secretly wait for this every year, and am not-so-secretly crafting my setlist already. (Gorillabuns, I'm saving a spot on that stage for you.)
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18 comments:
Did Toops lose any strength after that haircut? Even if he did, he looks darling!!
At home we have Ice Block Parties, where we buy this huge block of ice and drill a tunnel through it, from the top corner in a diagonal line to the bottom corner on the other end. Then someone puts their face up to the bottom corner and someone else pours liquor down the booze luge. A bucket catches any runoff that might drip from the participants' chins. This usually happens in someone's garage. Observe: http://flickr.com/photos/samiam9610/232333786/
We're just as classy in the Midwest as you and your hoity-toity friends, is my point. And we're extra smart about it because we end up with a Bonus Runoff Bucket of Booze at the end, free for the taking!
Okay, so that ice sculpture is pretty cool. Also, I love your dress!
He looks so cute with his haircut!
And jealous of your karaoke. I didn't know there were karaoke bars out in the PA boonies. The next time we head to the Poconos I'll have to do a better job sniffing them out.
There is no way for Toopweets' hair to EVER look bad. It is magical hair. Magical, I tell you!
Belt out a Patsy Cline song at the karaoke bar for me.
His hair looks great, despite the mishap :)
Please tell me there will be video footage of the karaoke?
I think his hair looks CUTE!
Have fun with your performance art in Pennsylvania!
He has such a happy, smiling face! And your dress for the wedding - AWESOME.
Ice sculptures that dispense cocktails? Stellar black and white dress? Baby with a SWAYZE MULLET? I am really wanting your life right about now. (Right up until the karaoke bit, that is. Karaoke makes me feel like I'm in 7th grade, giving a presentation on the redcoats of 1776 and frantically inventing facts.)
I always choose Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" when I sing karaoke. Sometimes I make up choreography.
It's a wonder I ever convinced someone to marry me.
little man looks sooo cute!!!
and you both look like a very beautiful couple!
karaoke? can i come along? really? i so want to sing with you. we'd be a great duo, i just know it. we would tour the country while performing in karaoke competitions. we could then live off the free drinks our groupies bought us.
what a minute... i think that movie has already been done and who would clean our husband's underwear and kiss our kids goodnite?
sing "proud mary" for me and i expect a video forthcoming.
I think his hair looks great. Of course he is so cute, anything would look good on him it appears...
by the way, rich loudly exclaimed in a crowded shopping mall elevator yesterday, "nobody puts baby in the corner."
1 person out of 10 got it. i was really hoping that one person didn't think he was gay.
the. end.
Every time I see a photo of you I feel this pang of jealousy about how stylish and classy and petite and foxy you are. Why can't I be more like Metalia?! WHY?!
I wouldn't have tipped that nincompoop... and would have told her exactly why. I'm getting louder and less inhibited in my old age (okay, so I'm not THAT old), and I'm kind of liking that quality!
He still looks adorable, so I guess no harm, no foul, right?
Date nights are to be cherished. I SOOO want to go to a party where I can dress up. Even my 20th reunion is business casual. Boo.
Good gawd, you're hot. HOTT, even.
I only discovered Cosmos at BlogHer this year, and YUMMM. I can tell you where I would have been hovering at that wedding (all night long), but you can probably guess.
I don't know; I hear all the trendiest stylists are using Christmas hams these days.
I agree, Christmas hams are THE fashionable hair accessory of choice for 2007. Rumor has it 2008 may see trotter-barrettes...for boys!
You're a hoot, m'dear. Please stop by Crabmommy sometime and bring some silliness to our show. Things get a tad, um, hairy there when I start going off on my atheistic leanings, but otherwise we are hair-free, carefree, and spend a lot of time talking about cowboys, spankings, and people who steal Ikea forks from my yard.
Yes, it's that weird.
You have a lovely child. He's edibly delicious. My own child's hair is a whirling shocker of dandelion frizzpuff at the back. No ham can help her there.
Ah, the dressy bags. What a pleasure to carry an evening bag that doesn't need to hold a diaper or wet wipes or tippy cup! Just a lipstick, cell phone, and credit card will do.
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